All eight episodes of Ted Season 2 debut on March 5 on Peacock.
As soon as Ted Season 2 starts you know you’re on familiar ground, with phone sex lines and sperm-soiled tissues. The Bennett family might have had their emotional moments in the first season, but there’s nothing like chronic masturbation to signal that the writers haven’t gone entirely sentimental. The eight episodes whisk you through chronic teenage libido, marital shenanigans, fantasy roleplay, Bill Clinton, and the psychosexual terror of seeing little Ted running at top speed while sporting a bouncing, purple strap-on.
Max Burkholder, who plays John, is still the hormonal heart of the show. It’s a rare actor who can play a teen boy who talks about jerking off constantly and is still ultimately loveable, but Burkholder has that superpower. Even when he’s being at his most leg-humpingly horny, he’s still ultimately a good guy. The character of Susan breaks out of her mom shell with Alanna Ubach delivering medium-rare middle-aged messiness without overdoing the cringe. Despite my best efforts, even Scott Grimes is winning me over with his portrayal of Matty Bennett, a man I would deliberately sprain an ankle to avoid seeing at a family wedding. I did and still do love Giorgia Whigham as Blaire Bennett, who continues to be the sarcastic voice of reason when one is required. Ted is Ted, and I should probably be worried about how normal a talking teddy bear seems to me now, but have you seen 2026 so far? Talking stuffed animals who smoke weed are the least of our worries.
Some of the jokes are starting to feel a bit repetitive, the novelty of a cute bear who cusses isn’t quite what it once was after two movies and a season of a TV, and Ted is never one to miss out on the chance for a cheap laugh, but there are enough new story threads to pull you through any scenes that don’t provoke a chuckle or two. I still enjoy a crass sex joke with the best of them, but I want to be surprised.
This season has range too, with single episodes swinging between light and heavy subject matter, juxtaposing a super-serious emotional moment with, say, Ted having a tube of Rolos shoved up his back alley. The first season didn’t shy away from more difficult topics – the Christmas episode “Loud Night” was beautifully done – but this time around it feels like the writers had the comedic confidence to take on even weightier topics. The show might be based in the ’90s, but for better or worse a lot of the hot topics remain just as spicy today. It pays off too as the Bennetts feel more rounded, more like a real family, without it ever feeling like you’ve accidentally switched over to an after-school special.
On the lighter side, the absolute stand out is Episode 3, “Dungeons & Dealers.” A loving poke at the world of Dungeons & Dragons, it sees the Bennett clan transported into a fantasy land as a mage, a fighter, a cleric, a thief and a bard. The segment takes its source material just seriously enough to be affectionate, but not strictly enough to feel like being stuck with your 15-year-old nephew who is compelled to give a lecture on the dual spellcasting controversy. It’s got it all: taverns, riddles, a surprising use for urine. Burkholder is a genuine Dungeons & Dragons fan, as is episode writer Chelsea Davison, and it shows.
John is 18 years old in this series and graduates by the end, and it’s hard to imagine the show being able to continue the careful balancing act between warm and fuzzy feelings and small and fuzzy bears who make jokes about jizz now that the kid isn’t really a kid and is out of school, facing the crushing but ultimately mundane routines of adulthood. That said, I’m absolutely ready to be proved wrong with a Season 3. The Bennetts have earned it.
